var howMany = 33
var quote = new Array(howMany+1)
quote[0]="How to remember a joke ... give it away within a day. Tell five people right away!"
quote[1]="There is no dearth of healthy mirth, and in fact it reduces the girth and heals the earth."
quote[2]="Don't be offended even if it's intended."
quote[3]="Pass the Gift of Humor to your friends and colleagues."
quote[4]="There is more to humor than jokes. Take on developing your sense of humor in a new way. Gather ideas from others."
quote[5]="Research: Ask your co-workers what makes them laugh. Share humor that makes them laugh as well as what makes you laugh."
quote[6]="From the Talmud: A person will be called to account on Judgement Day for every permissable thing he might have enjoyed - but did not."
quote[7]="The 9th Beatitude: Blessed are those that can laugh at themselves. They will always be amused."
quote[8]="Idea: Include a favorite cartoon when you are paying your bills."
quote[9]="Comedienne Janice Perry says: Comedy has the ability to transform fear into power."
quote[10]="Add humor to the agenda of meetings. Even five minutes will make a positive difference."
quote[11]="Remember: If you can't laugh at yourself, you are missing the best joke in town."
quote[12]="Pablo Neruda:  Laughter is the language of the soul."
quote[13]="Tibetan saying: Humor creates space when there is none."
quote[14]="Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.  --Grouch Marx"
quote[15]="From a newspaper headline:  Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead"
quote[16]="He's nice to people 'n animals... but you oughta hear him talkin' to a golf ball!<br>- Dennis the Menace"
quote[17]="How come I always get blamed for everything I do?<br>- Dennis the Menace"
quote[18]="I was so surprised at being born that I didn't speak for a year and a half. -- Gracie Allen"
quote[19]="I'm a very lucky woman. I was courted by the youngest, handsomest, most charming, most sought-after star in show business - but I still married George (Burns) because I loved him. - Gracie Allen"
quote[20]="Keep up your morning exercises, because every politician must be able to keep both feet on the fence with his ear to the ground. (Gracie Allen for President 1940)"
quote[21]="Some people have such a talent for making the best of a bad situation that they go around creating bad situations so they can make the best of them.<br>-Jean Kerr"
quote[22]="You don't seem to realize that a poor person who is unhappy is in a better position than a rich person who is unhappy. Because the poor person has hope. He thinks money would help.<br>-Jean Kerr"
quote[23]="A deadline is negative inspiration. Still, it's better than no inspiration at all.   <br>-Rita Mae Brown"
quote[24]="Everything is easier for cats, seeing as how they are smarter than humans. Should you doubt this, I ask you: Have you found someone to put a roof over your head, allow you to commandeer the best seat in the house, feed you on time and tell you ad nauseum how beautiful and wonderful you are?  <br>-Rita Mae Brown"
quote[25]="If I can't have it all, can I at least have some of yours?   <br>- Rita Rudner"
quote[26]="We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.    <br>-Rita Rudner"
quote[27]="You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams. <br>-Rita Rudner"
quote[28]="It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.<br>-Steven Wright"
quote[29]="You can't have everything. Where would you put it?   <br>-Steven Wright"
quote[30]="Someone sent me a postcard picture of the earth. On the back it said, Wish you were here.  <br>-Steven Wright"
quote[31]="I wish to thank my parents for making it all possible...and I wish to thank my children for making it necessary.<br>-Victor Borge"
quote[32]="(To a loud laugher in the audience) Sir would you be kind enough to explain to the rest of the audience how funny this really is.<br>-Victor Borge"
quote[33]="It's funny to me that I have to prove to the banks that I'M honest. (Seven years of Highly Defective People) <br>-Scott Adams"

  
function rndnumber(){
	var randscript = -1
	while (randscript < 0 || randscript > howMany || isNaN(randscript)){
		randscript = parseInt(Math.random()*(howMany+1))
	}
	return randscript
}